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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Get Your Geek On: Jay Walker's Library

The above image is a picture of the library in Jay Walker's home. Jay is the head of Walker Digital, a think tank which came up with The dude is a millionaire many times over, so he built himself the room of my dreams to show off his stuff. And what stuff he has. A Sputnik (that's it hanging in the photo above to the right). A framed napkin from 1943 on which Franklin D. Roosevelt outlined his plan to win World War II. The hand of the Thing signed by the Addams's Family cast. Thank you, thank you, Wired for showing me what I would do with loads and loads of money.

Check out these photos fellow geeks, and drool.

Friedman Field Dresses Palin

Shambollocks has made itself very clear before- we believe the next American president should raise taxes across the board, but most heavily against the rich. America is drowning in debt, and now we have to pay off a $700 billion dollar buyout of bad bank debt to boot. Somebody, somewhere has to pony up the cash. If we don't pay it off with tax revenue, we have to pay it off by borrowing more money from China.

The Republicans don't like taxes. They don't think they should pay them. They think the other guy should. Sarah Palin even said that paying taxes was not patriotic during the VP debate. Good ole Thomas Friedman takes her down in yesterday's New York Times.

Criticizing Sarah Palin is truly shooting fish in a barrel. But given the huge attention she is getting, you can’t just ignore what she has to say. And there was one thing she said in the debate with Joe Biden that really sticks in my craw. It was when she turned to Biden and declared: “You said recently that higher taxes or asking for higher taxes or paying higher taxes is patriotic. In the middle class of America, which is where Todd and I have been all of our lives, that’s not patriotic.”

What an awful statement. Palin defended the government’s $700 billion rescue plan. She defended the surge in Iraq, where her own son is now serving. She defended sending more troops to Afghanistan. And yet, at the same time, she declared that Americans who pay their fair share of taxes to support all those government-led endeavors should not be considered patriotic.

I only wish she had been asked: “Governor Palin, if paying taxes is not considered patriotic in your neighborhood, who is going to pay for the body armor that will protect your son in Iraq? Who is going to pay for the bailout you endorsed? If it isn’t from tax revenues, there are only two ways to pay for those big projects — printing more money or borrowing more money. Do you think borrowing money from China is more patriotic than raising it in taxes from Americans?” That is not putting America first. That is selling America first.

Sorry, I grew up in a very middle-class family in a very middle-class suburb of Minneapolis, and my parents taught me that paying taxes, while certainly no fun, was how we paid for the police and the Army, our public universities and local schools, scientific research and Medicare for the elderly. No one said it better than Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes: “I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.”

I can understand someone saying that the government has no business bailing out the financial system, but I can’t understand someone arguing that we should do that but not pay for it with taxes. I can understand someone saying we have no business in Iraq, but I can’t understand someone who advocates staying in Iraq until “victory” declaring that paying taxes to fund that is not patriotic.

How in the world can conservative commentators write with a straight face that this woman should be vice president of the United States? Do these people understand what serious trouble our country is in right now?

Yes they do, Thomas. But they don't care. The Republican party represents the haves, and the haves will walk out of this crisis quite alright. It will be the have-nots who take it on the chin, have to make career switches and put off retirement, and get told that they're 'real Americans' and that their values are protected. The Republicans will leave us all destitute, but by golly, our marriages will still be sacred!

Lehman Brothers CEO Cold Cocked

Shambollocks prides itself on chronicling the little guy's narrative during this New Depression. The guy who sticks it to the man, even if it requires breaking the law. Today, we share with you a new hero.

Richard Fuld, douche bag CEO of bankrupt Lehman Brothers, was partaking in the last vestiges of his executive perks- a workout in the Lehman Brothers gym Sunday. We'll let the Daily Telegraph (yes, because our papers suck) tell the rest of the story.

Mr Fuld, who has been testifying on the financial crisis before the US
House Oversight Committee, was attacked on a Sunday shortly after it was
announced that the banking giant was bankrupt.

Following rumours that the incident had occurred, Vicki Ward, a US
journalist, said "two very senior sources - one incredibly senior source" had
confirmed it to her. "He went to the gym after ... Lehman was announced as going
under," she told CNBC. "He was on a treadmill with a heart monitor on. Someone
was in the corner, pumping iron and he walked over and he knocked him out

Karma, baby. If you are such a gigantic, clueless pr&ck that you watch your company explode, sending shrapnel throughout the economy, AND THEN have the temerity to go to Capitol Hill and whine that the government didn't save your ass, deserve to get beaten on a daily basis.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Take On Me: Literal Video Version

My favorite one hit wonder of the '80s is A-Ha's Take On Me. The song contains so many cliches of the '80s-synth riff, elliptical romantic lyrics, and a singer who tears up some falsetto. The state-of-the-art video which accompanied the song also helped with its success. The video is wildly entertaining, but it sure doesn't make alot of sense. In fact, it should be spoofed.

Everybody wants to come to the pipe wrench fight, but nobody wants to clean up.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Sarah Palin Scares Diddy. Fo' Rizzle.

P Diddy has a vlog on YouTube I was unaware of until today. I guess you could watch them all and there would be other priceless nuggets, but I have an automatic five minute Diddy threshold until my gag reflex starts. It appears Diddy supports Obama because, well, Sarah Palin makes him do a Blair Witch spoof. Hilarious.

As I've said, celebrity endorsements do nothing for me. But creative people bringing serious situations to light is something with which I can agree. Just don't make me buy a Diddy product.

Damnit, I just puked.

Robber Posts On Craigslist, Takes Off On Inner Tube

In Monroe, Washington, Wednesday, a robber utilized a Craigslist ad to recruit accomplices, robbed an armed guard with pepper spray, and got away on an inner tube according to the Seattle Times. Fantastic!

Mike, who wanted to be identified only by his first name, told KING-5 that he saw a Craigslist ad last week seeking workers for a road-maintenance project. He inquired and was e-mailed instructions to meet near the bank at 11 a.m. Tuesday and to wear specific clothing.

"Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask ... and, if possible, a blue shirt," Mike told KING-5.

No contractor met Mike and about a dozen other similarly dressed men who showed up at the bank, and they thought they had been stood up. Then, KING-5 reported, a man told them about the bank robbery.

" 'Yeah, guys, we just got scammed,' " Mike said the man told him. "Bank robbery just happened to be right across the street, in the same attire in all the e-mails that everyone got."

Awesome! I hope the dude gets away it. Sure, banks don't need anymore bad news this week, but what a plan! Kudos, dude in dust mask. Kudos.