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Showing posts with label Slate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Slate. Show all posts

Friday, December 5, 2008

Eliot, Be Good

Eliot Spitzer, former Emperor's Club VIP, returned from the dust heap of recent history Wednesday to write a slam dunk, right on article about the current bailout for Slate. I myself have done my best over the past few months to tell you exactly what I think about the mess, but my limited knowledge of economics makes me very much like Bambi- I can sense when something's amiss, but I can't tell you why exactly I'm running. Eliot, ex-Wall Street fighter he was, knows why it is amiss. Let's start with what's wrong with our economy:

  • Our trade deficit has ballooned from about $100 billion to more than $700 billion annually in the past decade, and our federal deficit now approaches $1 trillion. These twin deficits leave us at the mercy of foreign-capital inflows that may diminish as Asian nations, in particular, invest increasingly at home.
  • Our household savings rate has been close to zero—and even negative in some years—not permitting the long-term capital accumulation required for the investments we need; China's savings rate, by comparison, is an astonishing 30 percent of household income.
  • U.S. middle class income has stagnated over the past decade, while the middle class in China—granted, starting from a lower base—has seen its income growing at about 10 percent annually.
  • Our intellectual advantage could soon turn into a new "third deficit," as hundreds of thousands of engineers are being created annually in China.
  • We are realizing that the service sector—all the lawyers, investment bankers, advertising agencies, and accountants—follows its clients and wealth creation. This, not over-regulation, is the reason investment-banking activity has begun to migrate overseas.
Yes, yes! So true, especially that last one. All the white-collar yos who are out of work right now who think they have it bad? Wait until ten years from now, when most of their industries follow the money to India, China, or Europe. It was one thing when high-school guys lost their industrial jobs. Not much tear-crying by the degreed powers-that-be. But when a Burnett copywriter is serving up lattes at Starbucks? Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a symphony orchestra playing at every street corner.

Gotta get into the studio to lay down 'Brother, I'll Tell You How To Make Some Dimes'.

Spitzer goes on to state that we're propping up dinosaur industries- not just Detroit, but the lot of them. I've believed this, too. I know we need to bring money into the market because the banks are tighter than a Catholic school paycheck, but why are we putting the money into the same failed institutions?

A more sensible approach would focus not just on rescuing pre-existing financial institutions but, instead, on creating a structure for more contained and competitive ones. For years, we have accepted a theory of financial concentration—not only across all lines of previously differentiated sectors (insurance, commercial banking, investment banking, retail brokerage, etc.) but in terms of sheer size. The theory was that capital depth would permit the various entities, dubbed financial supermarkets, to compete and provide full service to customers while cross-marketing various products. That model has failed. The failure shows in gargantuan losses, bloated overhead, enormous inefficiencies, dramatic and outsized risk taken to generate returns large enough to justify the scale of the organizations, ethical abuses in cross-marketing in violation of fiduciary obligations, and now the need for major taxpayer-financed capital support for virtually every major financial institution.


Eliot, my man! So in short, prop up credit markets with new vehicles. Do NOT give money to the chuckleheads who drowned the baby and now can't find the telephone. Dude may have hired some ladies of the evening, but you know, leadership comes from strange places. This is by far the most well-reasoned piece I've read about our current plight.

You heard it here first. Eliot Spitzer. US Attorney General. 2012.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I Asked For A Zima, Not Emphysema


Alas, one more line from my favorite Simpsons episode will need to be explained to my children. Zima, the beer (?) which came, saw, and then turned into a national punch-line, was officially put out of its misery by MillerCoors on October 10th. Slate last week published an appreciation for this amazingly bad tasting malt beverage.

Zima came into being at the beginning of my drinking. I distinctly remember the first time I drank the stuff. In a decade which brought us the iced-beverage fad (yes, I once drank Miller High Life Ice), Zima was by far the foulest brew available. It tasted like cold, flat ginger ale-except with a distinct, mediciney after taste that made you want to immediately gargle with Jager. It lasted amongst my peers for a year because the Mother McCauley girls were able to place Sweet Tarts in it to create some kind of uber-sugary concoction similar to Homer's dear Skittle-Brau.

Here's to you, Zima. May you continue to ruin young drinkers' palettes in some Latin American after-market.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

Slate has a great piece on the history of fights in cinema. Here are a couple of which I happen to be a huge fan.

First. Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris. When Bruce Lee says jump, Chuck Norris looks for a soft landing. Bruce Lee's breakfast is juice, bacon, Chuck Norris, bacon. See for yourself.



Bruce Willis has had a bad day. First, his wife wants a divorce. Then, a bunch of thugs take a high-rise hostage and bust up his romantic attempt to get back together. His feet are cut up. And how he's gotta fight Aryan Eric.



Do not do this at home. Except if it's with your wife.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Alberto Gonzales Is The Center Of It All!

Slate provides an interactive guide to which people in the Bush Administration should be prosecuted and for what. The big winner, and the man at the middle of everything? Alberto Gonzales! Step on down, Alberto, and see what you won. A brand new job at a boutique industry law firm!

I hope Alberto knew he was going to be a bag man. The sad news is that there won't be any prosecutions of any of these individuals. Bush will grant ex post facto, superlegal immunity to all before he leaves office. But I do hope that Congress does call for an investigation, at least so that the evidence against all can be read into the public record.

Monday, July 21, 2008

On Covers and the Meaning Behind Them

Slate had a great piece Friday on cover versions and what they communicate. It seems Noel Gallagher (resident twat from Oasis) and Jay-Z were embroiled in a war of words. Noel, in his position as Lord Overseer of British Pop (unelected and, unfortunately, unignored), stated that Jay-Z shouldn't headline Glastonbury because it's a 'rock' festival. So Jay-Z opened his set with a mocking version of 'Wonderwall,' mumbling the lyrics and purposelessly strumming a guitar. Pretty brilliant move, IMHO, considering the venue.

What Jonah Weiner brings up in his piece also troubled me at Pitchfork. Mockery definitely has a place in music, but irony really doesn't-especially in pop. This came to my mind during the King Khan set I saw at Bottom Lounge Saturday night. King Khan present an indie r&b revue to their audience, and it has all the fixings. Costumes. Horns. Choreagraphed patter and dance moves. And as a huge r&b nut, the first song did move me. But after two or three more songs I realized that the whole set was shtick. King Khan and his cohorts may actually love '60s soul, but their version of it is way too aware of itself and bent on self-mockery. If you are going to satire art, it always helps if you actually look like you appreciate that in which you give the piss. Otherwise, it comes off as mean and snarky.

The other weird, fantastic connection in the piece was the link to Alanis Morrisette's version of 'My Humps'.



Pretty great. The person who posted it to YouTube was my good friend Kevin, who lives in L.A. Crazy, odd, getting-incredibly-smaller world we live in.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Why the Democrats Suck

While you were enjoying your summer the last two days, the Democratic controlled Congress rewrote our laws for government wiretapping. The Democrats gave the Bush administration everything. The government can begin reading your emails and bugging your calls just like if you flipped off Jack Bauer in traffic.

Slate's excellent legal affairs columnist, Patrick Radden Keefe, wrote a piece which will explain to you exactly why this bill is so horrid. FISA, the previous law protecting us from an obtrusive government, existed since the bad old Watergate days. The Democrats then lived through a corrupt Republican administration, and passed laws to stop another Nixon from bypassing our Constitution. The Democrats we have today? Yeah, not so much. Why not give an even worse Republican expanded powers? Ugh.

The Sprints and US Cellulars of the world, the folks we all pay monthly so we can drunk text at 2 AM, the very companies who allowed the government to browse through your phone records without your knowledge, were granted immunity. And yes, our very own Barack Obama voted for the bill.

Somebody remind the Democrats exactly what an opposition party means, please. Nancy and Harry, it means you vote No. No. You just vote no.

Ick. Just about makes you want to party with Ron Paul.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Father-Daughter Debate Sexism and the Hill Campaign

Slate published an email exchange between Casey Greenfield and her father, Jeff, one of my favorite journalists. Jeff did fine work for years as a Nightline correspondent. He now is a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning. Casey is a Hill supporter who wants the media's sexist treatment of her candidate put on trial. Jeff believes her daughter doth protest too much.

I agree with everything Jeff writes in his emails (where did they sell those nutcrackers, anyway?). Politics has very little to do with marginal social issues (racism, sexism, whitism). Politics is about getting out the vote, and picking up the garbage (thanks, Richard J!). Hillary did not run a campaign, but a coronation. Barack won not because he is black, or a man, but because he did a better job.

Sometimes I feel like I've woke up in Election, and the Tracy Flick supporters won't shut up. You ran for an office, and you lost. It happens. Even to ambitious, capable women.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

What Worries Conservatives Today?

Google doodles.

Yes, the changes Google occasionally makes to its logo irks conservatives. In yesterday's Slate, the conspiracy is revealed. It seems conservatives would like their holidays to be commemorated. Google, is it so hard to place a dead soldier or crucified Christ (ya know, the cheery images that make conservatives so much fun at parties!) between your oos?

Google defends itself by stating they didn't celebrate Judy Garland's birthday last year, upsetting legions of gay males.

Every day can't be a 'War On Religion' in Foxland. Somedays need to be a 'War On Google Doodads.' Keep at it. Every resource they spend on that, is less they spend on John McSame.